The military is my husband's mistress & sometimes that bitch gets all the attention.

I haven't blogged in ages. It has been a very hectic week. Andy is at WLC (warrior leadership course for you civilians.) He will be gone 2 and half weeks. The minute he left, Levi came down with a fever, cough, and snotty nose. I made 3 doctor visits and 1 ER visit in one week. Levi had a 103 temperature and that was with tylenol. I had to load him and Madelynn up and brave what is the beast of an Army Emergency Department. Anyone who has been an Army Emergency Department knows it is RI - DIC - U - LOUS. I kept apologizing for my slowness and lack of control over my very tired 2 year old. I kept saying, "Sorry, daddy is gone for training." I kept getting the reply, "That is when it hits the fan!" And boy did it! After all the visits and running around, we have finally slowed down. Levi is getting better but he is still having breathing issues. He has to do breathing treatments for the next two weeks. Madelynn got way to use to her daddy being around. She has been pretty cranky not having daddy around. He got to come home yesterday for awhile. The minute she saw him she was like "Dadas, dadas." (she has been adding "s" to everything this week!) She was really upset when we dropped him back off. She has been a peach ever since. (Sarcasm!) I have been meaning to sit down and blogged forever this week. I have so much to blog about. I decided to blog on one thing at a time. I don't have the time to sit down and "blog it out" plus you guys don't want to sit through that. It would be boring!
First I am going to blog about something I have done nothing about think about today. Today has been a sad day in the neighborhood. Cali's husband left for deployment. The Cali's have been our neighbors since the day we move in. I consider them friends (and hope they think the same of us!) My heart breaks for them. As military families, you know that deployments are possible, but you really never think it happens until it actually does. I don't wanna say I know what she is going through (because my husband is here and he has yet to deploy yet.) but I can understand what she has felt leading up to it.

Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will. ~Author Unknown

You see 2 weeks after Levi was born, two weeks after Andy got to his FDS, (First duty station.)they told him he would be deploying in January. This was December. I really was devastated. I knew Andy joining the Army would have some AMAZING pros and some not so amazing cons. I just didn't think it would happen so fast. As the soldiers prepare to leave, the wives start making a plan for that year. At the time I was still in Ohio, Andy was in the barracks, we didn't even have a house down there. I had to make decisions on whether to stay in Ohio with family or go fend for myself in North Carolina. Andy had promised me when we got pregnant with Levi that I could finish school once we got to our FDS. Now I was faced with school or no school? Should I go in Ohio or should I go in North Carolina? Just a bunch of shoulds, coulds, woulds, and the dreaded what ifs? I don't even have to go into detail what the "What ifs" are. As my mother can attest I was in a holding pattern. I had to make these decisions and my right arm (Andy) was leaving. I was a wreck for once in my life. By the grace of God, Andy got a phone call two days before Christmas, that he didn't have to deploy. Just writing this brings tears to my eyes. Probably because I am watching my DVR'd Coming Home episode.
My heart goes out to Cali. I can on a very small, minimal scale know what she went through leading up to this deployment. In reality, I think all army wives do. Deployments are what you push to the very back of your minds and try not to think about them until they come up. Being neighbors/friends, I couldn't help but think about Cali's husband leaving. Not only am I sad for my friend, her husband, and her children but it had me thinking about Andy deploying. Its not a question of IF but WHEN. It is hard to not to think about it and when someone close to you is going through it, it materializes your fears. Right now for me, it is just a fear he is going to deploy. For Cali, her husband is deploying and she is living it now. As her friend I want badly to make this time as painless as possible. Which is impossible. I have no words, I have no advice. I really can't even give her words of encouragement because I have not gone through a deployment. It would be empty words. I would feel like I am bull shitting her. (Couldn't think of a nicer way to put it.) I hate when people come to you and say things along the lines like "Oh it will go by quick, don't worry, everything will be ok." And they have not experienced it. I really want to say to those people "Shut the hell up! I have to restrain myself when civilian wives say, "Oh the hubby is working out of town all weekend, its really going to suck." CRAM IT! Now I haven't had to deal with a deployment, but I spent 8 months separated from Andy, pregnant, with Maddy, now that sucked!! I don't think civilians really understand what it is like to live the military lifestyle. We are coming up on a year in the Army, and I am still finding things I don't like.
I wish desperately to wave a magic wand and POOF The war is over. Everyone can come home. Unfortunately Wal-mart is out of wands. I guess I ll have to do is pray, pray hard. I can't take away Cali's pain as much as I want to. All I can do is everything in my means to make it easier in Mr. Cali's absence. I asked God for strength to be a good friend and be able to help out when it is warranted. Deployments just don't affect a soldier, they affect the families as well. And in this neighborhood, these neighbors will be right there going through it with the Cali's. If I can help out in anyway, be a shoulder to lean on, or brighten a day I will. I love my Army family. For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, times of deployments and in times of leave.

Dear Lord,
Give me the greatness of heart to see the difference between duty and his love for me. Give me understanding that I may know, when duty calls him he must go. Give me a task to do each day, to fill the time when he's away. And Lord, when he's in a foreign land, keep him safe in your loving hand. And Lord, when duty is in the field, please protect him and be his shield. And Lord, when deployment is so long, please stay with me and keep me strong. Amen.